Winter Is a Long Time Coming
Winter is a long time coming, dropping temperatures not lingering for long before they rise again. A bare wisp of snow covers the ground lightly before melting in the rays of a sunny 50+ degrees. Though it’s not officially winter by the calendar, winter is on the way and once it’s finally here it will stay for a while.
My sheep feel it. They know the season of lush grass is gone and they ravenously eat what green is left as they also accept the hay I put for them in their feeders — the grass no longer able to sustain them. They know soon there will be nothing left on the ground to nourish them, and they expectantly look to spring already remembering the sunnier days when spring is almost here.
It’s likely some won’t make it so see spring. They are in the winters of their lives, many already outliving what the calendar says, their existence defying what reality is supposed to be. Twelve is considered a good life expectancy for a sheep. Many of my sheep are far beyond that. Far beyond. For that I am thankful because each goodbye is heart wrenching. Even though they have lived longer than they were supposed to. I still wish they did not have to leave — the hole in my flock impossible to not see and feel each time I greet them and them me, in the morning.
Winter is a long time coming and their Shepherdess knows it too. I have lived years more than many, less years than others. My young son left when he was not quite 2 years old. My two other children were gone before I knew they even existed — never meeting here on earth. My nephew left when he was just 24. How does that happen? How does one make sense of it?
Sometimes I cannot. Sometimes.
In those times and places and seasons when my heart is too heavy to carry all the burdens alone, I cry out to my Good Shepherd — pleading for help and comfort and peace. He gently lifts the burdens my heart and soul cannot bear alone carrying them far away for a time until I can better bear them. If only I allow Him too. If only.
The many holes in the flock — those wonderful people He has given me — those in my life that have come alongside me — are impossible not to see and feel when they are no longer here. My dear friends, Pat and Cindy, who just left me, I feel their losses deeply. Deeply. When I let myself feel, that is. And it doesn’t make sense. Them leaving now or ever. Their losses touching so many, changing the rhythm of innumerable lives. It’s hard to bear — sometimes I cannot. Sometimes. And my heart and soul cry out for what was and is not anymore.
In those times my Good Shepherd cradles me in His arms and wipes away my tears and whispers He understands and tells me He is the only One Who will truly never leave me. His life has no seasons. He created the seasons. He will always be.
Winter is a long time coming but there’s always spring. Not for all of us, though. At least not here on earth. But for those who cannot stay any longer — those in His flock who will not, cannot tarry — winter has gone forever, and spring will always be. The moment they, we, wake up in the green pastures, beside the still waters with our Good Shepherd, in Heaven.
Jackie Deems copyright 2023
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7
