Sticks and Stones
The Ugly Truth About Abuse
I see you, standing in the corner trying to be invisible, your eyes downcast hoping no one will see the ugly truth you try so desperately hard to hide each day.
His words ring in your ears, chipping away at what’s left of your mostly splintered heart: “You’re stupid”. “You’ll never amount to anything”. “No one else will ever want you”. The despicable, crushing words go forever and ever on — a demented broken record playing nonstop in your soul until you fully believe them.
Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones. Words will never hurt you.
Oh, but they can, and they do just as surely as each time he pushes or hits you or threatens to — every time you steel yourself for the next physical or verbal blow.
You’re scared, confused, stressed, embarrassed, exhausted, wondering how you got a front row seat in your very own private hell. When did you allow someone else to completely control your life? The moment he came into it, that’s when.
“You’re ugly”. “You’re fat”. “You’re worthless”. “I could do so much better than you”. He doesn’t know how he has stayed with you this long.
Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones. Words will never hurt you.
What happened to the you that was? Can you even remember that person anymore? Each time you start to, another attack is launched — he needs you to stay weak so he can feel strong.
You want out, desperately want out. But your whole being is crushed under the weight of his abuse, his continual onslaught almost (almost) too much for you to bear. Yet, yet, you still love him, the kinder him you first fell in love with — the one you believe is still there and worth saving. But you know, deep down know, you can’t save someone else if you can’t even save yourself.
You’re always wrong, he’s always right. According to him, you (the abused) need help, but he (the abuser) does not. The broken record plays on for days and weeks and years until it’s all you can hear, and your self-esteem is completely shredded.
Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones. Words will never hurt you.
You can’t tell anyone. You can’t. What would they think of you? Would they even believe your almost unbelievable story? You’ve kept the secret very well. So very well. But you can’t keep it anymore, not if you want to survive.
You reach out, finally reach out — and they take hold of your wavering hand. They pull you out of the darkness and towards them — embracing your weary heart and soul — helping you see the light again. Giving you hope.
I see you, standing now, unashamedly standing — embracing your true worth as a priceless and beloved Daughter of the King.
Sticks and stones. Sticks and stones. God’s words will never hurt you.
Jackie Deems copyright 2022